Former top-five singles player and current world no. 23 Jelena Ostapenko, seen here polishing her sales pitch, is the living embodiment of David Mamet’s eternal mantra, Always Be Closing.
The 28-year-old Latvian, who never met a line-call she agreed with unless it was in her favor, is making the world a fairer place (for herself alone) by selling shit on an Instagram page (she has three; one’s devoted to things she bakes). And when we say “shit,” we mean used perfume samples, for €5-€10 a pop. Before you exclaim at that price for a mere tubule of Maison Francis Kurkdjian scent, consider that it will be coming to you from Latvia, lovingly packaged by an absolute juggernaut of a human being.